All my life I’ve assumed that Hershey, Pennsylvania was some kind of magical, Willy Wonka-esque place where Oompa Loompas, or maybe even elves, prance around singing songs while concocting varieties of chocolate that just aren’t available anywhere else.  So when I found myself passing nearby, I had to stop for a look.  And, okay, maybe I was thinking of stealing an elf, but only if s/he was tired of chocolate and wanted to go for a ride!  Overall, though, I’d have to say that I was rather disappointed.  Or maybe I was missing something?

I didn’t go to the Hershey theme park, only to the Hershey Chocolate World, because I wasn’t so much interested in rides as seeing how the chocolate was made, so I can’t comment on the park at all.  It was fairly crowded, but lines moved quickly, and parking wasn’t difficult.

The real disappointment began when I got inside, and discovered that I was in a huge gift shop.  Instead of information and education about chocolate making, I was in a shrine to rampant commercialism, with candy and all kinds of merchandise for sale.

Okay, it’s very possible that I should have expected that.  The chocolate isn’t really made by elves, and Hershey is in business to make a profit, got it!  But to be honest, the place was just a bit on the creepy side, with garish colors and giant plastic candy grinning maniacally down on me.

I was trying to like it, I really was, so I thought that maybe sampling the wares was the secret to enjoying the place.  It was late morning, so I ordered a mocha dark roast espresso and a chocolate muffin.  Unfortunately, they were both so intensely sweet, and what I thought was cream on the muffin was actually frosting, that I couldn’t finish even half!  A plump little girl looked at me in disbelief as I threw the remainder away.

Sitting there choking on my diabetes-inducing snack, I did notice that the kisses bar along one wall was rather attractive… So yay, I found something I liked!

I also finally found the entrance to the factory tour, so got in the short line, which moved very quickly.  If you’ve ever been on the “It’s a Small World” ride at Disney, this “tour” would have seemed familiar.  We were put into little cars that jerked their way along a track, and turned us toward the features we were supposed to focus on.  On the first bend we were jauntily sung to by animatronic fibreglass cows and an overly cheerful plastic rooster.

Unfortunately we went nowhere near an actual factory, but instead were shown plastic mock-ups of machinery, mixing vats, wrapping machines, etc, with pictures or lights to represent actual chocolate, and that weird grinning chocolate bar again.

Yes, I get it, this is for kids, but I looked at the kids around me, and didn’t see that they were very impressed either.  Their main interest was getting back out to the gift shop so their parents could buy them more huge bags of candy.  And really, I can’t blame them.  These kids are brought up with smart phones, and X-Boxes, and real life gadgets that seem far more magical than a few plastic cows.  I tried to be positive, Hershey Chocolate World, and I tried to like you, but I just didn’t.  Maybe I was missing something.  I lasted about an hour and a half before I left.

But actually, the most impressive part of the visit was the ‘green’ parking spaces in the lot, with hook-ups to recharge your electric car.

 

If only the rest of the place had been that up to date, it might have been worth seeing.  Or… maybe the theme park is the real attraction…?  I was no longer really interested enough to try.  Maybe Hershey should have used the elves after all.