This life isn’t working for me.  I’m surviving, but I can’t say that I’m thriving.  I have a nice house, a lovely dog, and a good job.  So why the dissatisfaction?  By the standards of most of the world, I’m extremely lucky.

After living in Australia for nearly 18 years, my life seems to lack real meaning.  With few friends or family, I seem to work just to provide myself with food and shelter, so that I can go back to work again.  The common dream of a house in the suburbs and a safe job simply seems to bore me.  Even travel is difficult here because everything is so far away.  I’ve tried joining clubs, taking classes, hiking with groups, volunteering, but nothing seems to be working.  I seem to need more meaning and connection.

So I’ve made the decision.  I’m moving on.  Albert Einstein said that “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”  I’ve tried in numerous ways to fit myself into this life, and it isn’t working.  So I’ll stop trying, and will choose a different life

This has been a very difficult decision to make.  This life has been all I’ve known for years.  I’m risking the loss of the few contacts that I have here.  I’m leaving the home that I’ve done so much renovation work on.  I’m giving up the wonderful dog who’s been my companion though the ups and downs of life (she’ll be going to a good home, but I don’t know when, or if, I’ll see her again).  Change can be very difficult.  But there’s another quote that I’ve loved all my life, by Lao Tzu: “If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.”  At the moment, my road seems to lead only to emptiness, to lack of meaning, and to boredom.  So I choose to take the risk, I choose to change.

Since I’ve been working without a break all of my adult life, and I have financial stability, I’ve decided to take a year sabbatical and spend it on the road in the US, visiting national parks and meeting people.  There are so many remarkable things to see in the US, and I’ve seen so few of them.  There’s such a variety of people there, and I’m in need of friends.  It is my home country, and has a wonderful road infrastructure, so traveling around should be relatively easy.

I intend to travel by car, and to live out of my car as much as possible, staying as unencumbered by possessions as I can.  So my choice of vehicle will be critical – I want to be comfortable and portable, but don’t need or want luxury.  I have no idea how long I’ll keep going, but I’m hoping that it will be at least a year.  I’ll keep going until I want or need to stop.  Until it feels right to choose another life.  I’ll keep going until I find a road that leads to where I want to be.

More than anything, I want to approach each corner in the road not knowing what lies beyond it.  I seek adventure.  I’m off to find it…